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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137265">Attempted Apology</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGardenOfEden/pseuds/TheGardenOfEden'>TheGardenOfEden</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SK8 the Infinity (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hasegawa Langa In Love, Hasegawa Langa Needs a Hug, Insecure Kyan Reki, Its not a happy ending, M/M, Mentioned Chinen Miya, Mentioned Nanjo Kijiro | Joe, Mentioned Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, Mentioned Shindo Ainosuke | Adam, POV Hasegawa Langa, Sad Kyan Reki, Sad boi hours, apology, but maybe that will manifest okayness in canon, i made them not okay here, i needed it out of my brain, i really want them to be okay, im so sorry, mentioned shadow, other characters mentions, please dont hate me fort his one, renga, sad reki, what even are tags</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:20:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGardenOfEden/pseuds/TheGardenOfEden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Langa attempts to apologize to Reki.</p><p>It does not go well.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Attempted Apology</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I literally finished watching the existing episodes of sk8 last night, and is anyone surprised that the first thing I did is write renga angst? No.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Langa sat on his bed staring out the window. The stars were bright and beautiful. They almost looked like snowflakes.</p><p>They almost looked like Reki.</p><p>He sighed and flopped backwards, opting to stare at the ceiling instead. He thought back to the tournament, how he felt empty. Almost like he was outside of himself. He could still skate but it was almost like he didn't even want to at that moment. He wanted his heartbeat back.</p><p>And then Reki showed up.</p><p>He appeared out of nowhere, really. A flash of red and bright eyes and Langa felt okay again. Reki was there and he would be okay. They would be okay. And he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.</p><p>It was what skating should feel like. It's like what he felt when he first got on Reki’s board all those months ago.</p><p>And then he realized, it's what he felt around Reki.</p><p>When he tried to find Reki after the race, he couldn't. Just as quickly as he'd appeared, he'd disappeared again. And then Cherry got injured and the place became chaotic. Everyone was everywhere and no one looked like Reki. Finally, as the S started to clear out, he gave up. He got a text from Miya about an hour after he was home.</p><p>[2:26am] Apparently Reki gave up his S badge.<br/>
[2:26am] Is he okay? What happened?</p><p>That's when he knew something was really wrong.</p><p>His mother told him he should be honest with his feelings. That’s probably the best way to go, embarrassing as it may be. And Joe told him it would be okay because it's them. He really hoped it would be.</p><p>Reki was too important to lose.</p><p>When he woke up the next day, there was a pit of nervousness in Langa’s stomach. He knew he needed to find Reki and he knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation to have.</p><p>He got ready as slow as possible, trying to push off the inevitable as long as possible, he didn't even really know what he was going to say.</p><p>He passed his mom as he left his house.</p><p>“Where are you going, Langa?” she called from the kitchen.</p><p>“To a friend’s house,” he paused at the door.</p><p>“Is this that friend you were telling me about?”</p><p>“It's Reki.” He hoped that would be enough to stall any questions till later.</p><p>“Will you make it home for dinner?”</p><p>“I don't know,” he answered and then left before she could ask anything else.</p><p>He gripped the broken pieces of his board tightly as he walked toward Reki’s house. He could feel his hands sweating.</p><p>When he got there, he knocked on the door and waited with baited breath. Reki’s mom answered the door, he could see one of his sisters peeking out from behind her.</p><p>“Oh Langa!” she smiled, “How are you? I haven't seen you around since last week, it's been too long.”</p><p>“I'm okay.. Is, uh. Is Reki here?”</p><p>“Yeah, he's in his room,” the corners of her mouth turned down a little, “He’s been distant lately. Hopefully you can cheer him up.” She stepped aside to let him pass into the house.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said, toeing off his shoes, and headed toward Reki’s room.</p><p>He knocked on the door, feeling his palms sweat even more.</p><p>“I told you I'm busy, Nanaka,” Reki’s voice sounded through the door, “go play with someone else.”</p><p>Langa took a deep breath and slid the door open.</p><p>“Nanaka, I told you-” he cut himself off as he turned to see Langa standing in the doorway. His mouth hung open and his surprise was written all over his face. If Langa wasn't so nervous, he would have smiled. Reki was always so expressive, it was endearing. Except when his face morphed from surprise into distaste. That made the pit in Langa’s stomach grow. He shut the door behind him.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Reki said, his voice low and quiet and angry. </p><p>There was a suffocating silence that hung between them as Langa desperately tried to piece together his thoughts.</p><p>“You're my friend,” he finally said.</p><p>A flicker of something like hope flashed across Reki’s face but he kept his mouth shut and looked at Langa expectantly.</p><p>“Also I broke my board,” he held up the pieces of his board for Reki to see.</p><p>Reki’s face morphed into anger and dejection, “Are you serious? Is that all I am to you? The guy who makes you boards?”</p><p>“No Reki, I-”</p><p>“Go away, Langa, I'm not your support.”</p><p>“I don't think that.”</p><p>“Then what do you think?” he spat, turning to face away from Langa and crossing his arms.</p><p>“You're my friend,” Langa tried again.</p><p>“No,” was Reki’s response and Langa felt his breath stop.</p><p>“Reki, I'm sorry I broke our promise.”</p><p>“You technically haven't yet.”</p><p>“I'm sorry I'm going to.”</p><p>That got Reki to turn his head, anger and shock written plain on his face.</p><p>“You're stupid. You're stupid for trying to go against Adam again. You're stupid for thinking that it's not dangerous, that you're special to him. Just because you're good doesn't mean you won't get hurt.”</p><p>“I… I know you don't want me to. I know I promised, and I'm sorry. But I still want to try.”</p><p>Reki turned around, facing away from Langa again. He was silent for a long moment before he spoke again, and when he did, his voice came out small and quiet.</p><p>“You're also stupid because it's not about that.”</p><p>“What's it about then?”</p><p>“Why are you here, Langa? Is it just for the broken board?” he moved his arms to rest on his knees in front of him.</p><p>“You're my friend,” he tried a third time.</p><p>I miss you, he thought.</p><p>“No,” Reki said again.</p><p>“What do you mean ‘no’?”</p><p>“You and Adam, and even Joe and Cherry and Miya and Shadow. I'm not like you guys.”</p><p>“You said that the other day. I still don't get what you mean.”</p><p>“I'm not good enough.”</p><p>“That's not true.”</p><p>“Isn't it?” Reki put his head on his arms, “Joe and Cherry and Adam are all founders of S. They're legends. Miya is a national team hopeful. I can't even beat Shadow in a beef. They're all leagues ahead of me.”</p><p>“That doesn't mean-”</p><p>“And you. Look at you. You took days to learn what took me months and years. You're already up there with all of them. Not even, you're surpassing all of them. You beat Joe yesterday. You're so good. You're able to basically fly, and I can't do that. I'll never be able to do that. I'm not good enough. I never will be.”</p><p>“Just because you can't do as many tricks or go as fast doesn't mean anything, Reki. You're still important. You're the one who taught me to skate in the first place, and you made this awesome board, and you make the S amazing for all of us. We all want you around.”</p><p>I want you around.</p><p>“I don't want to just be support. I don't want to sit and cheer from the sidelines. I want to skate with you.”</p><p>“Then come skate with us,” With me, “With me. Come skate with me, Reki, I miss you and it's not the same without you.”</p><p>“You don't get it,” Reki’s voice sounded strained, kind of like he was crying, and Langa desperately wanted to see his face so he could tell just what he was feeling, “Go home, Langa. I told you we don't match anymore.”</p><p>Langa left the house feeling dumbfounded and numb.</p><p>What didn't he get? Why couldn't they be friends? Why did Reki feel like he wasn't good enough? Why couldn't he get through to Reki? Why couldn't he get Reki to come back?</p><p>Halfway home, he sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and cried.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am very sorry y'all. But also I'm really not. I hope you got a good fill of angst.</p><p>Come follow me elsewhere:<br/><a href="https://mothman-misato.tumblr.com/">my tumblr</a><br/><a href="https://www.instagram.com/thegardenofedenreagan/">my instagram</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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